Car Friday

The past several days had passed without incident, just me and the car popping in and out of universes trying to find our quarry. I had begun learning how to operate all the car's nifty gadgets, and had thought of a few names for it.

"Ishmael?" I asked.

"That's ludicrous," replied the car, "Why would you name me after a fictional human character?"

"It's either that or a feminine name, car, and you're not too feminine. Yes, you're one manly automobile."

"As a car, I am neither male or female. Still, I see your point. Any more suggestions?"

Before I could reply, several police cars sped past the alley we were in.

"Car, can you get the police scanner?"

"Aye aye, captain."

The radio buzzed for a moment, then a fuzzy voice proclaimed that a nefarious criminal had escaped prison and that all cars were to be on the look-out for him. It gave no description, however, and so it would seem that I could do little to help. However, across the street, I noticed a gentleman at a pay phone. This would be unremarkable, except he was dressed in the traditional prisoner's outfit complete with broken handcuffs.

"Car, do we have anything I can stun him with so we can apprehend him?"

The glove box opened up and spat out a gun that should not have been able to fit into it. I picked it up and the car told me to press a button on the top. I did so, and a harpoon made of energy materialized in the gun.

"Won't this kill him?"

"Once you've aimed it, it adjusts itself to the target's biomass and the wielder's psyche. So no, it won't kill him."

I shrugged, leaned out my window, and shot the convict in the leg. He screamed and fell to the ground, and I leapt out of the car and dashed over to him. He was, indeed, still alive. Not only that, but the scream had attracted the local police. I made a quick exit, hopped into my car, and backed into the shadows while the police took my quarry away.

"What about Friday?" I asked.

"What about it?" replied the car.

"I mean as a name. You know, from Robinson Crusoe. He had a man Friday. You can be my car Friday."

"That only tangentially applies to your motif, Land Captain."

"I like it, though."

"Then I shall be your car Friday."